My friend, Tera, is facing a very serious diagnosis...for the second time in her young life. She was a teacher before the C word hit. She was and still is a mother. No illness can take that away! I remember asking her in the past about different teaching techniques to use at home. And I still pick her brain when it comes to parenting a certainly little girl in our home. When she was diagnosed with cancer just over a year ago, Tera's world was rocked in a big way. She faced an unusual cancer discovered in an unusual way. Her sweet momma said this about her...
"Leave it to my Tera to be atypical - but then she always
has been and she's always been a fighter and I praise God
she's His before mine and that He holds her in His hands."
She was forced to give up teaching. It's something she's gifted at doing. She donated some of her supplies to another teacher and some she packed up to use at home. Did it hurt to leave her classroom for the last time as the teacher? Oh, I bet it did, but she did it. She left her classroom behind because it's what was best for her family and her health. Did she give up teaching all together? Nope! God had already given her 2 little cuties to parent with her amazing husband. And they have been teaching those 2 littles together for all of their young lives.
The youngest cutie is quite the deep thinker. In fact, Tera shared that he asked if someone threw eggs on the road. If you look closely at the yellow reflectors in the street, they're adhered with white cement that spreads out around the reflector. I see reflectors, but this little one sees eggs! His mind...it's almost overwhelmingly creative. Their oldest is a quiet little girl who throws her momma for a loop sometimes, but is so sweet and gentle too. I joke with my friend that naps are for her sanity and their safety. Maybe that part is truth disguised as a joke. But my friend knows when to soak in the tender moments with her kids and be intentional. One morning, Tera texted to say that she had been awake thinking about her future and her health. And then a few texts later, she said her sweet girl had come in to cuddle and that's where she would be for awhile. Also, Tera has been intentional with her husband too. They make the most of every opportunity together even if it involves working on the farm and plowing fields, literally!
This is what I've learned from Tera since her initial diagnosis:
1) Keep your circle small in the beginning. Sometimes you have to do this to avoid rumors or confusion, but sometimes you have to do it to protect those closest to you. If you have deep thinkers that see "eggs" on the road, you know you have to be careful about what information is shared and when.
2) Be honest about your struggles, but still continue to check on those around you. More than once, I'll get a text asking about my day or my marriage or my parents. She's still checking in on me, which means she's likely checking in on others too.
3) Be intentional and make the most of every opportunity. Don't give up teaching your kids. You may not have a classroom at a school, but you do have an audience wherever you go. Cuddles are even teaching moments too! If your hubby is as awesome as Tera's, you'll go on a date day after doctors' appointments. Remember? Be intentional. Just to brag on her husband, Lee has come out fighting when insurance coverage arose. He's a farmer with boxing gloves on...except he would never hit anyone. Ever.
4) Leave a legacy. It may be in pictures or words or activities, but find out what works for your family. Tera hasn't let this disease steal her sense of adventure and wonder. Her kids are little. She knows that Christmas lights and music speak to them. She knows her audience well. And I've learned from Tera too that it's not about making scrapbooks with the pictures. The memories are implanted in the mind and the pictures can remind. Someone else can plug pictures into a scrapbook later while Tera's out chasing her kids on their next adventure! I do remind her to take pictures though!
5) Know the Truth, but also never give up. Tera knows the medical side of her diagnosis. She probably knows just enough to scare herself. But she also knows the Truth that God will heal her one way or another. And she's not giving up. She's just honest some days that it's overwhelming and scary. That doesn't mean she'll cancel her child's birthday party for fear of germs. It just means she's keep a bubble around herself to limit germs. She also knows the One who made her and hears her prayers and will eventually heal. I'm praying and believing for more years here on earth!
6) Also, laugh. If you can't laugh, find someone who can make you laugh. Tera let's me be that person for her sometimes. I can turn pretty much anything in to a sarcastic joke. I have to reign it in some days, but for the most part, I think she laughs at my jokes. For example, when one of our friends said her labs (blood work) were good, I replied with a picture of my lab (dog)! Tera can dish it out too. She sent me this. She told me which one made her think of me.
Tera's illness has not be wasted on me. It's actually grown my prayer life. And if begging the Lord for a friend's life out loud is "acceptable", then I've been "acceptable" quite a bit lately. She has touched way more lives than mine and I doubt she even knows that at times. Much like my spiritual parents, I'm watching and learning from her. Tera's barely younger than me, but definitely taller. So, I can call her my sister...not big sister, but maybe wise, taller sister! I still have so much more to learn from her.
"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he
will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid;
do not be discouraged."
Deut. 31:8
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