Fake Friend: Amanda
This picture of Samuel was taken by a complete stranger who is now one of my closest fake friends. Russ and I jokingly call her a "fake friend" because I've never actually met Amanda in person, BUT I know she's real. I've seen a picture of her in a video with our Samuel. God connected us before we each completed our first adoptions. That was right about 5 years ago. Right, Amanda? Her son, James, is from the same orphanage that our 2 littles are from. We call them Huizhou siblings. And I now call Amanda one of my greatest friends. She has spoken Truth to me when I felt like giving up. She has been painfully honest about the hard times in her family’s adoptions, that at times stretch far beyond adoption itself. She took a gift to our Samuel before we even got a chance to hold him. Funny how we've yet to meet. And if we never meet on this earth, I'm so very thankful that Heaven has no end. We might be talking constantly for all eternity. We'll try to keep it down, but we can't promise anything!
'
This family picture was taken before sweet Wave
was added to their family.
Momma and her little girl
Amanda just reminded me of something last week. To quote her, she said "It really isn't that much about the kids, is it? It's about our own healing."
Fake Friend: Mandy
I saw Mandy and her husband when we first walked in the hotel restaurant. I remember being drawn to them because they were holding their baby girl, Lila. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised given that many American adoptive families go through this one hotel. I noticed that Lila had a cleft lip and I was intrigued especially since we had cleft lip bottles for orphanage donations. As we talked, Mandy let me interact with Lila, which I thought was a no-no at the time. She was so gracious. Not only did Mandy come to ask the hard question "how's your marriage", but she warned me that there might be some depression after adoption. In fact, she told me that's it's normal and common. I couldn't figure out why she was being so bold with that information to a complete stranger. And while I didn't experience depression with Samuel, God knew those days were coming. I bet Mandy didn't even know that she was speaking truth I would need to hear almost 2 years later for our adoption of Stella. Now, here we are 4 1/2 years later still encouraging each other. In fact, Mandy is the one who hosted a book fundraiser to help fund Stella's adoption.
Mandy's beautiful girls, Grace and Lila
Fake Friend: Stephanie
Remember that fierce Daddy Russ that worked hard to ensure out Samuel would be OUR SON? While looking at the waiting child list each month, one little girl "Katie" grabbed my heart. I finally talked Russ into looking at her file. What I didn't know is that another momma was trying to wait patiently for her husband to look at Katie's file too. Actually, I think they had looked at her file, but he wasn't ready to commit. Just the mention that someone else is trying to adopt YOUR child and will light a fire under any parent. That's what happened. Stephanie told me later that once her husband realized other families were looking at Katie's file, he realized she was to be their daughter. Katie's momma became a dear friend after I saw her post about Katie on FB a few years ago. There's nothing creepy about a random stranger messaging to ask about your soon-to-be adopted daughter, right? See, even Facebook can be used for good! Stephanie and I have never met, but she and I connected and clicked. Stephanie has been a great source of encouragement in my bonding with Stella. She has answered my weird messages about difficult attachment. She never once made me feel stupid or inadequate as a mom. She continues to do quite the opposite! She has become my go-to with Stella questions.
Katie is the little girl in the middle. She's now Ellie. Stephanie and her
husband brought home their son first and then added an
older daughter after Katie came home.
I know God can accomplish whatever He sees as good and praise-worthy without any help from me or my family. He says we're dust in fact. But if there's any way at all that He could've used us to help give Amanda a moment of purpose for delivering our gift or helped Mandy see the her words are life-changing or helped bring Katie to her forever home, I'm so very thankful to play even the tiniest role! He lets us do that when we just say "yes".
"For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we
are but dust. As for man, his days are like grass; as a
flower of the field, so he flourishes When the wind has
passed over it, it is no more; and it's
place acknowledges it no longer."
Psalm 103:14-16
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