Friday, September 18, 2015

A Month! Are You Kidding?

Has It Been A Month?  Already?
It feels like just yesterday we were scurrying to the hotel lobby to hop on a bus headed for the Civil Affairs office.  Maybe with all the stress and exhaustion, time has stood still, at least in my mind.  I feel like my brain is now functioning at around 90%, which is probably really just my "norm".  Since leaving my job at Cook's, I have managed to retain the basic knowledge of shapes, colors, and even the names of a few shows frequently shown on PBSKids.  If I've written or said anything to you that you might question, it could be that my fuzzy mind had taken over...or maybe it was just for fun!  

On a thankful note, your prayers have carried us.  Don't think they went unnoticed.  Your food has nourished us.  And your genuine interest in our transition has been a comfort during this exciting (and sometimes challenging) time.  Apart from scrambling a few eggs and slicing an apple or two,  I have not cooked a meal until this week.  Oh, did I mention that I "cooked" a few packages of Ramen noodles last week? Yep, this dietitian feeds her children Ramen "in moderation"...of course.  We've been taken care of by our God...through many of you!!!


I've walked in on more than 1 occasion to see 
these 2 looking through our family Bible together.  
A little sibling Bible study?

Samuel completed this project for school.  
Stella created it just for fun.
They both enjoyed it!

Revealing Herself
Stella noticed that Samuel gave me a quick kiss good-bye and then headed to his class.  Our super smart girl tried the same...except she didn't get to stay at preschool as she had hoped.  Bonding, little one, bonding is our goal right now.  She was noticeable upset with me, lingering behind me as we walked out and refusing to hold my hand all the while wearing a pouty face.  Poor girl.  Please pray for her heart.  It didn't appear that she had formed a strong bond with any of her caregivers, which has in turn made recognizing the role of a parent more difficult.  She seeks attention from strangers.  She just loves attention, like any other little one, except it's important that she recognize family first.  It could be crucial to her future attachment.  Stella's a great little girl.  She really is.  She's pretty obedient and kind-hearted and strives to help/please.   She is affectionate on occasion.  But, Stella longs to be in a room full of her peers because that's what her life was like until a month ago.  Spending a day with just 1 person and especially if that 1 person is an adult is probably so strange to her.  Many kids look forward to some one-on-one time with mommy/daddy, but it's so unfamiliar that she can't even grasp or appreciate it.  Yet.  

Dancing machines

Super Sisters
My mom and Aunt Lucy brought our furry girls home a little over a week ago.  It just didn't feel like home without hearing the tap-tap of puppy toenails on the tile!  Thankfully my mom and aunt were willing to stick around for the week while Russ was traveling for work.  They've managed to keep the house tidy while also refereeing at times and listening to my mommy struggles.  I knew I'd be lost without them.  They discovered Saturday morning that their car battery was dead.  I thought for a moment that I had won the lottery and they would be staying a bit longer.  Unfortunately (but fortunately for them) a car battery is easily replaced.  I begged them to stay.  They insisted that they must get back to my Dad and Uncle.  Bummer!


A Day at the Park 
With the "cold front" moving in, we couldn't miss the opportunity.  As we've observed Stella exploring the playground, we realize that she is no spider monkey (unlike Samuel).  Our girl is afraid of any equipment more than an inch off the ground.  And she lacks the confidence to explore equipment requiring balance.  Sweet Joey tried really hard to involve her and hold her hands to explore.  He was so good to encourage her and help her try new things.

Stella helping Daddy down the slide

Jumping from rock to rock

The real spider monkey



_______________________________


And here she is a month later....






Monday, September 7, 2015

Three Weeks In

What's It Been Like?
The past 3 weeks have flown by and seemingly stood still at times.  It's been a crazy gamut of emotions for all of us.  Personally, I feel like I'm coming out from under the heavy cloud of jet lag and complete exhaustion.  The kids seems to have endless energy and stamina.  "She fits in" doesn't even seem to touch the experience we've had with adding Stella to our family.  It's almost an understatement.  Again I'll say, she's that missing piece to our family that we didn't even know was missing.  It's hard to believe we've gone from this...


to this...



Stella wants so much to be independent in caring for herself (changing clothes, brushing teeth, going to the bathroom).  It's not like she had a choice in China.  We have been and still do to some degree insist on helping with simple daily tasks.  The purpose is to instill the security and comfort of being cared for by a parent.  It's strange to think we have to teach our 4 year old that, but sometimes it is part of adoption.  She still helps with Samuel.  She strives to keep Joey (pronounced Joe-Yeah...it's cute) in line.  Despite the language barrier, Stella does really well to communicate and understand the basic responsibilities of being a Webb kid.  

We're juggling new adventures and the lack of life experiences.  Whether it's her oblivion to the hot stove top or swiping random items from the counter to be promptly stored in her purse, it's just obvious that so much about Stella's new life is just that...new...uncharted territory.   Stella's comfort is growing though. Comfort with family. Comfort with rules and expectations. Some say that children are more likely to express themselves at home (both good and bad) because home is that safe place where love should be/is found without conditions.  Stella is starting to express herself more little by little.  Refusing to lie down for naps.  Refusing food.  Taking liberties with things off limit.  These are all positive steps as she learns and explores. 



We ventured out to church yesterday morning. Call us crazy.  It went very well. Thanks to our wonderful teachers, Stella will now be able to add a little Hebrew into her Chinese language. Stella was content to color throughout class or instruct me on what to color. Also there were donuts involved. She met a lot of new faces, some she was more cautious with than others. That was actually nice to see. Not that we want her to shy away from our friends who are pretty amazing, but it was nice to see that Stella was cautious of strangers. Often when children are starved for attention (unlike in families) in their early years, they tend to be  friendly with anyone and everyone in hopes of receiving that needed attention. Stella waved freely to all friendly faces from a distance. She gave a few high-5s too.  

Furry Friends
The furry girls arrived home Saturday with the help of my mom and aunt. Although we've talked  about Molly and Gracie for weeks now, nothing could've prepared a young girl for the overwhelming beauty of an 80 lb. dog. Or was it her monstrous size? Either way, Stella is cautious around Gracie, keeping at least 3 feet of distance between herself and the dog. That involves taking the looooooong way around the kitchen sometimes.  And Molly? Well, they were fast friends, according to Stella. Because Molly is 16+ years old, she sees mostly shadows and can hear very littke. She was greeted by a wildly waving tambourine and "Hi, Molly". Stella has been adamant that Molly be fed constantly - chips, cookies, pretzels, whatever Stella deems appropriate.  It's pretty cute when Stella says "Hi, Baby" to Molly because she hears me talk to Molly (yes, I talk to our dogs).  She just might be a big fan of dogs, much like her momma!

On Our Way to the New Norm
As we settle into our 2nd "real" week back home with school and laundry, my mom and aunt are here to help out while Russ is traveling a little for work.  Having the extra help (which is like having not 1, but 2 mommas visiting) is a welcome transition period to our new life.  Dear friends are still providing meals and that is HUGE!  We're figuring out the recipe for our new norm...slowly, but surely!  The secret ingredient: God's grace! Also, sleep is nice.