She's Just One Lady We first saw Nanny Z on January 13, 2014 around 2:34pm. Honestly, I don't remember even seeing her that day. Russ met her because he had the opportunity to ask her questions about Samuel as I tried desperately to calm him. I remember asking Russ what Nanny Z said about Samuel and how to pronounce his name correctly. But all I remember Russ saying is how she had been crying since that morning and she was sobbing when he tried to talk to her. Sobbing? Really? For a child she met at her work? It's probably a good thing that Russ was the one meeting with her and not me. He has a way of not hugging complete strangers and making them feel weird (like Michael Scott weird). Russ is pretty great like that!
Looking back, I realized I had never once stopped to really consider her feelings. I had never thought to pray for her broken heart. It had never crossed my mind that maybe her world was being shattered at the same time as Samuel's. We had been encouraged to pray for our child and his transition, but never once do I remember anyone telling me I should be praying for this employee. I thought she was just a worker. This sweet lady I have grown to love more over the years. I see the fruits of her labor every single day when I hold my Samuel. I hear her gentle words when Samuel tells me he loves me. I see her broken heart when I look at the pictures from our trip in 2014 and in 2015. We talk about her openly at home. In fact, I make sure to keep her memory alive because she is a gift to our family.
I don't know if Nanny Z knows Jesus. Not only is there a language barrier, but I have never had an opportunity to ask her. What I do know is that I can love her for Jesus. In fact, I'm fairly certain I scared her when I hugged her in 2014. Like, I hugged her a lot. Remember, Russ is the one that knows how to avoid awkward hugs with strangers. Not me. Then, when we saw her again in 2015 for Stella's adoption, I hugged her again a lot. In fact, I leaned in and told her "I love you" when we left for the last time. Again, awkward hugs are my thing! I thought I heard her say it back to me, but maybe it was my imagination. Or maybe she was whispering that I was in her personal space bubble. Either way, I never want her to question whether she did a good job caring for our Samuel. I hope she has a confidence that she matters, even if only to 1 family.
We've been "friends" since January of 2017, but much longer in reality. This is just the first time it became official. I honestly don't even remember how we found each other last year. I do know that it made my heart very happy! And I have to believe she feels the same. That first day we connected, I sent her 5 pictures. The next day we sent audio and written message and 8 more pictures. I laugh now, but I asked her (through the app translation) to send a picture of herself so I could confirm it was her. Like some random person would be exchanging messages with a Texan on the other side of the globe. That picture she sent still makes me sad, because it's just her. No one else appears to be in the room. Over the past 23 months, not once has Nanny Z posted a picture of herself or her with another person. Not even once.
Each and every time I send her a picture of Samuel or Stella, she comments. Every single time. We try to converse with the app translation, but I'm not confident that it's 100% accurate. If a picture is worth a thousand words, I'd rather communicate in a way that I know is accurate!
These are conversations we just had last week. Obviously, she still loves our kiddos. I wonder how many other adoptive families she has contact with. I may never know the answer to that, but I'm glad we have contact wit her. I will tell you that I hope to see Nanny Z again one day. It's not a secret, so you don't have to worry if Russ already knows. I fully expect to hug her again. A LOT. I don't want her to ever doubt her impact because she makes a big difference in our family, even to this day! It goes to show that anyone can make a difference. Maybe it's a smile or the gentle way you care for a child. It doesn't matter if it's your passion or even your choice. God can use you. Again, adoption is not just about taking an orphan home. It's about making a difference in some else's life. It just might be a ripple effect!
"The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love."
Galatians 5:6
No comments:
Post a Comment