Part 4: They're Everywhere

Ok.  One more "fake friend" and then I'll move on...

It's still fascinating to me how God knits our families together with other families!

Fake Friend: Amanda Botswana
I call her "Amanda Botswana" because I have too many adoptive friends named Amanda, according to Russ. Amanda was serving in Botswana when we initially connected.  Funny thing is that after a short stint in Houston, God took her and her family back to Botswana.  I never even got to meet her when we were in the same state.  One day...

Remember how my friend Amanda (see?  Too many Amanda's already) took a gift to Samuel before we ever held him.  Yeah, God gave us that same opportunity for Wei Wei.  We got to experience the same joy of sending pictures to another waiting family. We were able to pay it forward and it kinda paid it backwards to us too.  Funny how that works!  I wonder if Amanda knows that I sometimes I forget her last name because it's "Botswana" in our home!

Photo credit: Christopher Visuals

This Amanda has become a faithful friend too.  We may go months between emails because we simply get too busy to reply to one another, but I know she's there.  And when we do reconnect, it's like we just pick up where we left off.  She has been a great encouragement to me.  Her words of honesty have come back to ring in my ear often.  God has definitely used her to heal my own heart while I've struggled to bond with Stella.  Get this, she started a Facebook group to support the families adopting through our same agency.  Yep!!  She's all about adoption too.  I love that she has taken it as a privilege and a responsibility to encourage other families along the way.  I go weeks or months without looking at the FB group, yet Amanda somehow keeps up with each new family that is adopting.  And she adds them.  And then comments to welcome them.  She's just being a vessel to encourage other adoptive families because God has given her that passion...all the way from another country!

We have real friends too. I Promise.
When you're in the adoption world and you literally walk the road of adoption with another family; you're just bonded for life.  There's no other way around it.  It's like being in the delivery room with a dear friend for the birth of your child. And their child.  At the same time.  Kinda weird, hu?

Shannon and I first connected when our older sons were in kindergarten together.  Samuel had recently come home from China, but that wasn't yet the time Shannon's heart towards adoption started growing.  Our friendship has changed over the years.  I didn't realize until much later that God had used our adoption of Stella to spur Shannon and her family towards adoption.  Looking back now, knowing how I've struggled so much with Stella, it's almost comical that God would use THAT adoption to encourage Shannon's family.  If she could've only know my heart and my thoughts, it might've scared my friend away from adopting.  For someone who struggles to keep her words to herself, it's kind of like a miracle that I didn't ruin what was about to transpire.  

Shannon has been honest with her own struggles, again even those beyond adoption.  She has calmed me and spoken truth more times than I can count.  Our texts outnumber the stars in the sky, I think.  And her kids, I love them like my own.  Annika (her daughter from China) probably thinks I stalk her.  I see her at school, at her house, at the park, pretty much anywhere.  Perhaps when kids think moms have eyes in the back of their head, it could just be that there are mom spies everywhere with a full charged cell phone ready to text any mishap!  

To think the God can use me in one of my ugliest times (while I struggled to love my own child), is humbling!  The fact that I kept my mouth shut long enough so as not to scare Jay and Shannon away from adoption, is a miracle in itself!  Our adoptions and honestly has just bonded us even tighter!

"One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there 

is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

Proverbs 18:24

Where's My Gift?

Today is Orphan Sunday...a day we bring recognition to those without parents.  According to the actual definition, it doesn't give an age range.  Anyone can be an orphan. It's not a word designated for those children living in foster care or orphanages.  It's not just those children aging out of foster care with no family of their own.  Literally, anyone can be an orphan.  What does God say about orphans?  

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: 

to look after orphans and widows in their distress and 

to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

James 1:27

What's really funny is that I started out my thoughts on orphans to highlight how people poured into our adoption journey, how we met special friends on this journey, how others can come along side a family adopting.  It's becoming more and more apparent that my friend Amanda was right when she said that perhaps adoption is about healing our own hearts.  It's about the changes God will make in our own lives if we just walk the road of adoption (in any aspect).  It's not so much about changing the life of an orphan.  That part is expected.  What is unexpected is the the change that comes when we pour into others.  It's the change that comes when we pray for a family waiting to meet their child.  It's the change that comes when we humble ourselves to accept help or prayer from others, sometimes strangers.  Maybe God told us to care for orphan (and the poor and the widows and the lost) because in doing that, He make unexpected changes in our own lives!

Want to see my children who are orphans no more?  We celebrated my birthday today, which makes this day even more special.  God reminds me again of 2 of the greatest gifts he's ever given me.  Make that 3, because He tells us that children are a gift.  All 3 of my kids are a huge gift that the Lord uses to shape my own life.  So, they're like gifts that keep on giving.  

"Children are a gift from the Lord;

    they are a reward from him."

Psalm 127:3

If I want to get technical about gifts, I could talk all day on that concept.  Gifts don't have to be new or expensive or deemed important by someone else.  I have a house full of gifts, including my husband who adores me!  I have 2 more gifts in Texas that weren't here in town last year...my parents.  I got to see both of them on my birthday.  My mom gifted us by eating lunch with us (one of her favorite meals that is quite delicious).  My dad got me a card for my birthday and seemed so proud that even with his Alzheimer's, he was able to get me a card.  Talk about gifts!  Today has been full of gifts.  I've been flooded with hugs, cards (sent snail mail and arrived on time), texts, messages, and so much more.  A friend from elementary school texted to say a whole bunch of really nice things.  I received cookies that were accompanied by some amazing artwork, which included the death star.  Stella wrote me a book (literally a 5 pages card) and performed a Stella-original solo act.  I'll try to forget that she revealed may age in the song! My spiritual parents offered me a comfy seat and lots of love during church this morning. And they're not even finished yet.  I may not be on their monetary payroll, but I'm on their payroll for many others gifts!  I could go on and on!  

I love my momma something fierce!

My kids love their Hoo Hoo so big

Paw Paw is a gift to these kiddos!

He is still amazed with selfies.   Such a fun time with him!

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming 

down from the Father of the heavenly lights, 

who does not change like shifting shadows."

James 1:17

And now, I'm off to dream about the celebration for Veteran's Day tomorrow.  Our veterans are a gift too, and some don't even realize that...  

She's Just One Lady

Speaking of tiny possibilities, she's just one lady.  Her frame might be small, but she is making big differences in the lives of children.  And what is even amazing, this is just her government-assigned job!  It's not even her choice!

She's Just One Lady We first saw Nanny Z on January 13, 2014 around 2:34pm.  Honestly, I don't remember even seeing her that day.  Russ met her because he had the opportunity to ask her questions about Samuel as I tried desperately to calm him.  I remember asking Russ what Nanny Z said about Samuel and how to pronounce his name correctly.  But all I remember Russ saying is how she had been crying since that morning and she was sobbing when he tried to talk to her.  Sobbing?  Really?  For a child she met at her work?  It's probably a good thing that Russ was the one meeting with her and not me.  He has a way of not hugging complete strangers and making them feel weird (like Michael Scott weird).  Russ is pretty great like that!

Looking back, I realized I had never once stopped to really consider her feelings.  I had never thought to pray for her broken heart.  It had never crossed my mind that maybe her world was being shattered at the same time as Samuel's.  We had been encouraged to pray for our child and his transition, but never once do I remember anyone telling me I should be praying for this employee.  I thought she was just a worker. This sweet lady I have grown to love more over the years.  I see the fruits of her labor every single day when I hold my Samuel.  I hear her gentle words when Samuel tells me he loves me.  I see her broken heart when I look at the pictures from our trip in 2014 and in 2015.  We talk about her openly at home.  In fact, I make sure to keep her memory alive because she is a gift to our family.  

I don't know if Nanny Z knows Jesus.  Not only is there a language barrier, but I have never had an opportunity to ask her.  What I do know is that I can love her for Jesus.  In fact, I'm fairly certain I scared her when I hugged her in 2014.  Like, I hugged her a lot. Remember, Russ is the one that knows how to avoid awkward hugs with strangers.  Not me.  Then, when we saw her again in 2015 for Stella's adoption, I hugged her again a lot.  In fact, I leaned in and told her "I love you" when we left for the last time.  Again, awkward hugs are my thing!  I thought I heard her say it back to me, but maybe it was my imagination.  Or maybe she was whispering that I was in her personal space bubble.  Either way, I never want her to question whether she did a good job caring for our Samuel.  I hope she has a confidence that she matters, even if only to 1 family.  

We've been "friends" since January of 2017, but much longer in reality.  This is just the first time it became official.  I honestly don't even remember how we found each other last year.  I do know that it made my heart very happy!  And I have to believe she feels the same.  That first day we connected, I sent her 5 pictures.  The next day we sent audio and written message and 8 more pictures.  I laugh now, but I asked her (through the app translation) to send a picture of herself so I could confirm it was her.  Like some random person would be exchanging messages with a Texan on the other side of the globe.  That picture she sent still makes me sad, because it's just her.  No one else appears to be in the room.  Over the past 23 months, not once has Nanny Z posted a picture of herself or her with another person.  Not even once.  

Each and every time I send her a picture of Samuel or Stella, she comments.  Every single time.  We try to converse with the app translation, but I'm not confident that it's 100% accurate.  If a picture is worth a thousand words, I'd rather communicate in a way that I know is accurate!  

These are conversations we just had last week.  Obviously, she still loves our kiddos.  I wonder how many other adoptive families she has contact with.  I may never know the answer to that, but I'm glad we have contact wit her.  I will tell you that I hope to see Nanny Z again one day.  It's not a secret, so you don't have to worry if Russ already knows.  I fully expect to hug her again. A LOT.  I don't want her to ever doubt her impact because she makes a big difference in our family, even to this day!  It goes to show that anyone can make a difference.  Maybe it's a smile or the gentle way you care for a child.  It doesn't matter if it's your passion or even your choice.  God can use you.  Again, adoption is not just about taking an orphan home.  It's about making a difference in some else's life.  It just might be a ripple effect!

"The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love."

Galatians 5:6

Part 3: Is There a Tiny Possibility?

If there's even the tiniest possibility that God put us together for His good, these just might be the connections with my "fake friends".  He can use each of us in the most unexpected ways!


Fake Friend: Amanda

This picture of Samuel was taken by a complete stranger who is now one of my closest fake friends.  Russ and I jokingly call her a "fake friend" because I've never actually met Amanda in person, BUT I know she's real.  I've seen a picture of her in a video with our Samuel.  God connected us before we each completed our first adoptions.  That was right about 5 years ago.  Right, Amanda?  Her son, James, is from the same orphanage that our 2 littles are from.  We call them Huizhou siblings.  And I now call Amanda one of my greatest friends.  She has spoken Truth to me when I felt like giving up.  She has been painfully honest about the hard times in her family’s adoptions, that at times stretch far beyond adoption itself.  She took a gift to our Samuel before we even got a chance to hold him.  Funny how we've yet to meet.  And if we never meet on this earth, I'm so very thankful that Heaven has no end.  We might be talking constantly for all eternity.  We'll try to keep it down, but we can't promise anything! 

'

This family picture was taken before sweet Wave 

was added to their family.

Momma and her little girl

Amanda just reminded me of something last week.  To quote her, she said "It really isn't that much about the kids, is it?  It's about our own healing."  

Fake Friend: Mandy
I saw Mandy and her husband when we first walked in the hotel restaurant.  I remember being drawn to them because they were holding their baby girl, Lila.  I guess I shouldn't have been surprised given that many American adoptive families go through this one hotel.  I noticed that Lila had a cleft lip and I was intrigued especially since we had cleft lip bottles for orphanage donations.  As we talked, Mandy let me interact with Lila, which I thought was a no-no at the time.  She was so gracious.  Not only did Mandy come to ask the hard question "how's your marriage", but she warned me that there might be some depression after adoption.  In fact, she told me that's it's normal and common.  I couldn't figure out why she was being so bold with that information to a complete stranger.  And while I didn't experience depression with Samuel, God knew those days were coming.  I bet Mandy didn't even know that she was speaking truth I would need to hear almost 2 years later for our adoption of Stella.  Now, here we are 4 1/2 years later still encouraging each other.  In fact, Mandy is the one who hosted a book fundraiser to help fund Stella's adoption.

Mandy's beautiful girls, Grace and Lila

Fake Friend: Stephanie
Remember that fierce Daddy Russ that worked hard to ensure out Samuel would be OUR SON?  While looking at the waiting child list each month, one little girl "Katie" grabbed my heart.  I finally talked Russ into looking at her file.  What I didn't know is that another momma was trying to wait patiently for her husband to look at Katie's file too.  Actually, I think they had looked at her file, but he wasn't ready to commit.  Just the mention that someone else is trying to adopt YOUR child and will light a fire under any parent.  That's what happened.  Stephanie told me later that once her husband realized other families were looking at Katie's file, he realized she was to be their daughter.  Katie's momma became a dear friend after I saw her post about Katie on FB a few years ago.  There's nothing creepy about a random stranger messaging to ask about your soon-to-be adopted daughter, right?  See, even Facebook can be used for good!  Stephanie and I have never met, but she and I connected and clicked.  Stephanie has been a great source of encouragement in my bonding with Stella.  She has answered my weird messages about difficult attachment.  She never once made me feel stupid or inadequate as a mom.  She continues to do quite the opposite!  She has become my go-to with Stella questions.

Katie is the little girl in the middle.  She's now Ellie.  Stephanie and her 

husband brought home their son first and then added an 

older daughter after Katie came home.  

I know God can accomplish whatever He sees as good and praise-worthy without any help from me or my family.  He says we're dust in fact.  But if there's any way at all that He could've used us to help give Amanda a moment of purpose for delivering our gift or helped Mandy see the her words are life-changing or helped bring Katie to her forever home, I'm so very thankful to play even the tiniest role!  He lets us do that when we just say "yes".

"For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we 

are but dust.  As for man, his days are like grass; as a 

flower of the field, so he flourishes  When the wind has 

passed over it, it is no more; and it's 

place acknowledges it no longer."

Psalm 103:14-16

Pause: Am I a foot or a hand?

Let me just pause for a moment so I can catch my breath.  Let's talk about ways you can support adoption apart from inviting an orphan into your home.  You don't have to give a single penny either.  I used to think those were the ONLY ways to support.  It's not!  The possibilities are endless!

Ways to Support Adoption
1) Pray for a family considering adoption.  Sometimes families are considering adoption and get so scared they can't move forward for weeks or months or even years. You think we'd be able to do this without prayer?  Not a chance.  It's frightening!  Sometimes adoptive families get too busy with the paperwork and the next step that we forget to pray.  True!  

2) Help with or participate in fundraisers.  Buy an adoption shirt from a family.  We sold notecards.  There are Facebook groups that are set up for the sole purpose of fundraising for adoptions!  Seriously!  Offer to host a book sale or really any kind of product.  We had a friend who hosted an Usborne book fundraiser for Stella's adoption.

Side note: Can I tell you how humbling it is to have others give and support?  The funny thing is that God provided financially in big ways.  It was a gift to know others WANTED to help.  They were looking for ways to help.  It took a God-move to tear down our pride enough to ALLOW others to help us.  We're so silly sometimes.  Pride does a lot of bad stuff, but God chisels away at our hearts, thankfully.  

3) Ask about the adoption journey.  It can be one of the loneliest and most isolating times in a family's life.  Sometimes I was just sad that our kids were "stuck" in another country. The steps never moved fast enough for us.  I see now that God was working in the waiting, but during that wait...it's hard.  Ask to see updated pictures.  Ask how the paperwork is going.  Ask about their marriage.  Your questions might be the encouragement the adoptive parents need that day!  If you're uncomfortable verbally asking a question, send a text or send a card.  Just ask.  

4) Take a meal or send a gift card.  Any addition to the family is an adjustment. Whether it's a newborn or a teenager, adjustment is adjustment.  People have to eat though!!  I can speak for those suffering jet lag.  Oy!  Jetlag is no joke!  I have never been up cooking breakfast at 2am until our adoptions.  Both adoptions!  With a 13 hour time difference, these kids (me included) were hungry in the middle of the night once we got home.  So, that makes for a strange evening.  I felt like curling up in a wooden kitchen chair for a quick nap right about dinner prep time.  Russ took Melatonin to get back on schedule quickly because one of us had to go back to work and make some money.  He drew the short straw on that one!!  I remember a few evenings where I cooked dinner, fed the kids, left it on the stove for Russ, and was in bed by 5:30pm!  If cooking isn't your think, buy a gift card for a family. I promise, they won't care which restaurant you choose as long as it serves food!

5) Never underestimate your role in adoption.  Russ was just talking to our kids the other night about 1 Corinthians 12 where it talks about each person having a specific role.  We talk about that a lot at our house because some people don't like to empty the trash.  And we have to remind this little person that we each have a role in this family.  That goes for the adoption community too.  Not everyone is called to adopt.  That's ok.  Some are called to adopt twice or three times or even more.  You don't have to share the last name with a waiting child to support adoption.  And you don't have to give thousands of dollars either.  

I have to brag on my "Paper Person".  I was in charge of taking pictures and documenting our adoptions, hence the many books I've made and the blog posts.  Russ did the big stuff.  He did the really important stuff, the legal stuff that actually helped bring our kids home.  Russ filled out multiple forms that required the same information over and over.  He kept it all neatly organized.  He responded to emails and checked the status of our adoption on-line.  He stayed up late and got up early to get these steps taken care of quickly.  I got the fluff part of the adoption.  Russ did the serious stuff that actually brought our kids home.  If not for him, we'd have a few nice books of our adoption process, but not one child would be home yet!  

This is one of my favorites of my Paper Person just being a 

dad...something he's really really good at doing!

Beach picture 2017

The list of ways to help could go on and on, but you get the idea.  There's room for everyone to be a foot or a hand or even a paper person!  

"There is one body, but it has many parts. But all its many parts make up 

one body. It is the same with Christ. We were all baptized by one Holy Spirit. 

And so we are formed into one body. It didn’t matter whether we 

were Jews or Gentiles, slaves or free people. We were all given the same Spirit to drink. So the body is not made up of just one part. It has many parts."

1 Corinthians 12:12-14

Part 2: Things are Not What They Seem

Things are Not What They Seem
There's so much about Samuel's story, so I'll share bits and pieces.  We're now an open book about adoption, so please ask if you have other questions.  If you want the simple, factual email version, ask Russ.  If you want the emotional, wordy version, I'm your girl.  

Why China? 
My answer to strangers sometimes is simply that China is where our child was.  We just had to go a little farther than some couples to bring our child home.   

Once God confirmed that adoption was our next step, I don't even remember how He brought us around to the China program except that my mom is Chinese and we had friends who had recently adopted from China.  Our friends graciously offered to meet with us one Sunday.  I still see the location of that room where we met.  After that meeting, Russ and I moved forward to find an agency.

How did we know Samuel was to be our son?
This part is kind of funny.  So, I just had a "feeling" that God would add a son.  We later realized that Joey's name means "He will add a son!" Hilarious, right?

The agency we chose had recently started a partnership with a couple of orphanages.  As in, the president of our agency was still in China meeting about these partnerships when we started the process.  All we knew was it meant that the agency families would have first access to the files from those specific orphanages.  We envisioned a long list of sad faces begging us to bring them home.  In God's funny, loving way, that first list contained 2 kids.  Just 2.  One was a girl and one was a boy.  

Get this...we inquired to adopt both!  My sweet husband sent that question to our agency.  Imagine how that looked to our agency.  They had just started the partnerships.  There were only 2 kids on the list.  This crazy couple asked to adopt BOTH KIDS ON THE LIST.  Because of China's rules, we could only adopt one.  Thank you, Jesus, for being our brakes!  Remember He had only told us He would add a son at this point.  

How did we get to adopt a boy?
We heard that boys were rare to be adopted because the Chinese culture tends to favor boys.  Maybe that was part of our urgency or maybe it's just because Samuel was already a Webb in our hearts.  We worked like crazy to get paperwork done to lock Samuel's file so that no one else could even consider adopting him.  And by "we", I mean Russ!  He was our "paper person" for both adoptions.  Thankfully.  He worked like a fierce Daddy lion to protect his son! In all actuality, there may have been no other families even considering Samuel.  God was just growing that love and passion in our hearts for our Samuel.

NOTICE: I posted this picture in November of 2013.  Joey drew 

5 people in our family before we even went to bring Samuel 

home.  Tell me God doesn't have a sense of humor.  

Here are just a few things I either didn't fully understand at the time of Samuel's adoption or hadn't processed until recently (as in 2018).

1) My mom had been treated differently as a child because of her Chinese background.  She grew up in a small town where minorities were treated different.  I mean they were discriminated against and made to feel like they deserved less.  On this trip, my mom "fit in" so well.  She even tried out her Cantonese.  Our little family was the one that was "different".  I don't understand what my mom's childhood was like and I probably never will.  Thankfully Joey didn't see those same treatments while in China.  Quite the opposite.  We had to fight off on-lookers who were enamored by Joey's blue eyes!  If anyone was uncomfortable, we never knew it.  We just smiled at people and invited them to play with our kids and take pictures with them.  

2) My mom had been told lies in her adulthood.  She was told that others were embarrassed of her because of her Chinese background.  Yet, here was her only daughter and son-in-law in China with the sole purpose of adopting a Chinese child.  And better yet,  she had been invited to come along to see the beauty of the country that she herself was born from.  You think God was combating those lies on that trip?  We not only spoke words against those lies, but God was showing my mom Truth.  I made her a detailed book when we returned to let her know how much it meant for her to be with us.   

My mom and kids skyping with my dad back in Arkansas.  

It was tricky to find a convenient time with a 13 hour time difference.

3) I never realized on that trip that Russ had gotten a "feeling" that we would be back for another child.  Now, we can call that confirmation from the Lord, but it was just a "feeling" back then.  In fact, our Stella was in that orphanage we visited.  She was literally in the next room and we never even knew it!  For awhile after Stella came home, it pained me that we could've picked her up on that same trip.  If we had, it would have messed up other great plans.  Trust me...you'll have to keep reading.

4) Had Stella's file been ready, we wouldn't have gotten to make an impact on Samuel's nanny (and hopefully some of her co-workers).  You see, Samuel's nanny thought the world of him.  She still does.  You know how I know?  Because we are in touch with her and I send her pictures of him and Stella.  She comments on them every single time.  During Samuel's adoption, we visited the orphanage and we let Nanny Zhou hold Samuel.  What she didn't realize at the time is that she would be holding him again 18 months later.  Maybe it she had known it would have eased some of her pain.  I made Nanny Zhou a book (yeah, big surprise there), but we were not yet connected on the app that allows us to stay in touch today.  So, clearly we had to go back!  Also, one of Stella's friends was depending on us!  

She could not get him out fast enough!  

Nanny Zhou had tears her eyes!

A recap of Samuel's 1st year home in video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnwaoIzD1Xg

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, 

who have been called according to his purpose."

Romans 8:28

Part 1: Lean In for a Secret

Lean in.  
I've got a secret to share.  Samuel and Stella are adopted.  

Our adoption story is not just about infertility struggles and how God lead us to adoption, it's a story of:

* Our lives becoming an open book for a greater purpose
* God tearing down pride and bringing us to a place of humility
* telling and showing our children to live our their faith
* God strengthening our marriage in desperate times
* sharing God's goodness with those around us...even strangers
* Unrecognized family baggage and how it affects our little family

Once Upon a Time...

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who thought fairy tales meant hoping for something simple and then receiving it within a timely manner and without pain or frustration. And then that little girl grew up and finally (after 6 years of dating) married Mr. Wonderful and she realized that God's stories are way better than any fairy tale.  

I dreamt of a house full of kids and a few dogs.  Ok, more than a few dogs.  I still dream of running a dog sanctuary where I gradually and secretly adopt all the dogs so I can keep them forever.  And that house full of kids...I'm still working on Mr. Wonderful.  I sometimes tell him that when these three munchkins are grown, we can go back to China and adopt more children. 

I thought adoption would be fun and a great way to help out a kiddo without parents.  As a child, I wanted to be a teacher.  Once I realized there are more than 3 children in a classroom, I changed my mind.  A mommy seemed like an "easier" fit.  Hilarious!  Right?  So, after marriage, we pressed on towards that goal.  We waited and waited and waited.  For almost 2 years we waited for what takes some couples only a month or 2.  We met with specialists and went though routine tests.  It was excruciating and far from a fairy tale.  I pouted and cried many nights, like literally threw fits.  Ask Russ.  Working in the NICU proved to be quite the challenge for my heart.  Dear friends encouraged us along the way A. LOT.  I have one specific friend who asked me often "have you prayed about that yet?"  AM asked me hard questions, but she kept speaking Truth to me too.  When we finally got pregnant, I cancelled my fertility specialist appointment.  I remember them asking if I was sure I wanted to cancel.  Um, not sure I could've been any more pregnant than I was when I called them.  So, I cancelled.  Then, I gave Russ a special picture frame and said he would be a great dad...in 9 months.  Once he picked himself up off the floor, he said he thought I had lost my mind.  Fair enough.  That was a very likely scenario given the situation.

Pregnancy was wonderful.  Our doctor did things for us we heard he rarely ever did for others, such as taking an early sonogram so we could show our family an actual picture when we shared the news.  Heart burn was doable.  Swollen ankles were masked by fun socks and cute shoes.  Eating for 2 was fun...maybe a little too fun according to my nurse practitioner.  When you ask a pregnant dietitian to limit her carbs, you better ask and then run fast!!!  We went on to experience the joys of parenthood and somehow survived the "baby fog" and lived to tell about it.  Baby Joey was a ton of joy and brought so much healing to that time of waiting. 

Our doctor warned us about the occurrence of "Irish twins".  For me, it seemed like a dream come true.  If 1 Joey was fun, then 2 Joeys would be even more fun.  Right? Must I remind you that I was sleep deprived during this thought process.   Irish twins was never our reality though.   

We soaked in every second with this little one.  I made his bedding and curtains.  I pureed his baby food.  I wore him in the Bjorn constantly.  I clearly had too much time on my hands and I loved it!  When Joey was around 3 years old, Russ and I discussed infertility treatment options.  After more tests and a few conversations with the specialist, we moved forward to add to our family.  Joey went with me to appointments.  He often said "Mommy, I see your smile" when looking at the sono screen.  After our first attempt, we found out we were pregnant!  My numbers were low, but still considered pregnant.  The nurse cautioned me that only a few times before did she see numbers this low go on to deliver a healthy baby.  Although joyful news in the beginning, it quickly turned to sadness when we experienced a miscarriage in February 2012.  One day we'll meet that little one in Heaven.  After seeing that "Russ cloned himself" with Joey, I'm hopeful our Heaven Baby looks like me!!  Two more failed attempts at pregnancy lead to further discussion of adoption.  Adoption was always on the table for me.  It wasn't quite that clear for Russ.  There's a reason God put us together though.  We truly are His perfect balance.  I just couldn't see it in the midst of wanting babies.  In my patience (read: impatience), I waited and tried to avoid the nagging wife scenario.  Finally, God brought him around to adoption.  And this is where the adoption story starts gettin' good!