What They Failed to Mention

Things I've Learned from the Webb Boys

This momma has gained great wisdom over the past few years, especially the past 5 months with 2 boys at home.  Friends and family, perhaps you failed to mention these tiny bits of truth.  The "all-knowing" books omitted these parts as well.  Or maybe the exemptions were made to supply an element of surprise in the journey of parenthood.  And they have done just that!

1)  Trying to get the youngest son to repeats words might be a challenge, but if an older brother BURPS.  The little one musters up just enough pressure from within to mimic!

2)  I never knew I'd have the need to post a sign in our home saying:

And therefore, NO HITTING WITH GUNS AT THE TABLE. They will make guns out of anything.  Anything.  And we can't exactly take their hands/fingers away during meal times, can we?

3)  Trash only becomes treasure when it's in your brother's hand.  One could be holding a muddy sock or even a dead worm and in the moment that the other sees it, THEY MUST HAVE IT.  It's like a magnet.  And a war breaks out!  This is especially true if said treasure is one of those cheap, plastic toys from a fast food restaurant.  GIVE. IT. TO. ME.

4)  Words related to food - specifically sweets - are far more easily repeated than any others.
    Mommy: "Samuel, can you say popsicle?"
    Samuel: "No."

    Joey: "Samuel, do you want a cupcake?"
    Samuel: "Yeah!  Cupcake!"

    Mommy: "Samuel, say movie."
    Samuel: "...mummble, mumble..."

    Joey: "Samuel, do you like red velvet cake?"
    Samuel: "Yeah!  Red velvet cake...with cream cheese frosting...and a 
                   glass of milk."
* Maybe I'm remembering that scenario slightly different than it occurred.

5) These guys have enough combined energy to power a hospital generator FOR WEEKS!  They run and dance circles around me - literally.

6)  Bodily noises only become funnier with age (presumably with maturity).

7) Fertilizing the garden with food scraps and manure leads to the manly offer:
"Mommy, I can poop in the yard so I help our garden too."
Um, thanks....but no thanks!  Where's the offer to help clean the living room or take out the trash?  But when our garden needs anything at all, there's an immediate disgusting offer.

The boys working on the raised bed.

Samuel was concerned with helping in any way needed.

All finished!

They have such fun watering every day.

8)  Their volume buttons must be...

Where's the volume button on these things?  I've looked. ALMOST. DAILY. At least Samuel is honest about this his volume control.  When I ask if he can whisper, he answers with a deep, stern..."no"!  

9)   They really really love each other!  To see them chase each other across the park is confirmation of the bond that's forming.  We see them race to their "hiding spot" under the desk in Daddy's office.  Occasionally, we even catch them snuggled up on the couch together reading a book.  It's the tender moments together that give peace to my heart...and then there's a fist to the arm and a scream!

One of those rare moment

10)  Brotherhood is a full contact sport!  Every punch, kick, stinky-foot-to-the-face says "love".  

From Joey's pre-K journey (February)

This only-child momma has been fully introduced to the world of boys.  I know there are many many more life lessons yet to be learned.  Some will be unnecessary, but still informative.  Others will be plain ole embarrassing, yet entertaining.  Life with our boys is disgusting and hilarious!  I love it!  And why wouldn't I?  What's not to love?  I feel like I've been enlightened by 2 of the best.  

I must also throw in that these two rough and rowdy guys find a quiet moment in each day to give me a big squeeze and a kiss.  Samuel wakes up calling for "Da-E" while immediately running towards Joey's room to see if he's ready to play.  Yep, these 2 treasures are cool like that!

Oh, The Excitement...

Kindergarten, here I come.

I found this in Joey's notebook.

He's just so excited about graduating!

My mind flashes back to just over 6 years ago when we discovered that God was growing a tiny miracle within me.  He had completely surprised us during a time of complete sadness and frustration in the quest to grow our family.  We've watched that tiny miracle learn to walk and talk and talk some more.  Now, fast forward to last Thursday.  That same sweet miracle walked across the stage at his preschool to graduate his last year at Sonshine Academy.  I didn't cry during the ceremony, although I did cry on the drive to the ceremony.  He walked up on that stage alongside little buddies.  And he immediately set out to do what he has done well for years...TALK.  He talked to his friend on the right.  He talked to his friend on the left.  He waved at us!  He mouthed something to us in the crowd.  And then, he proudly waltzed across that stage as his name was called.  We couldn't be more proud and excited for Joey.  I'll admit I've begged him not to graduate.  In fact, the reply I got from him graduation morning was "It's too late.  We're already having graduation today".  Clearly, he was convinced that Kindergarten was inevitable.  We actually had a kindergarten school meeting that same evening.  Joey's favorite part of the school on the tour was...the playground!  Oh, and he liked the stairs and the gym too!

Bugs and Chiggers and Spiders...Oh My!
Our first family camping trip was fun and itchy and memorable!  We loaded up in the 4Runner...or should I say "loaded down".  Once the 80 pound dog managed to scramble across the supplies in the floorboard and over the carseat, we were on our way.  Between the camping gear, 2 adults, 2 children, and 2 dogs (one of which is larger than both of our boys combined), I was convinced the tires would be flat before we ever backed out the driveway.  

If you're counting children, just know that Molly had 

the most uncomfortable seat in the car...my lap.

Poor Samuel was probably so confused.  We took him out of a comfortable, sterile, crowded home in China, brought him all the way to heat-infused Texas, and then moved him out to the wilderness.  Another way we know he recognizes family...he just rolls along, taking cues from the rest of us.  The tent was as exciting as usual.  Samuel didn't find it too difficult to go to sleep in the tent.  In fact, he was pretty comfortable to roll. A. LOT.  It reminded me of the airline announcement "items tend to shift during take off and landing..."  He shifted the whole night long all the while maintaining his deep sleep.  Gracie took advantage of his movement by taking over his portion of the air mattress.  Joey was just tossed about the tent anytime Gracie shifted her position.

The brothers giggled.  The brothers wrestled.  The brothers finally slept.

What in the world are we doing sleeping outside?

The boys entertained themselves with several friends at the campsite.  There was dancing and dirt and a large collection of rolly pollies captured.  The dogs lounged in the dirt.  Everyone seemed to have a great time.  We were exhausted by the time we got home.  The boys napped and Russ and I got all the supplies unpacked.  And then...the itching began.  The chiggers had gotten us - gotten us good, but we didn't know the severity until we were back home.  Let's just say that Benadryl is making a fortune off of our family!  Making memories...

Our camping crew

Peek-A-Boo

Just had to throw this in.  Our Samuel is such a hoot now!  His morning and nap time routine has gone from screaming and climbing out of the crib to (just) incessant crying and on to happy chatter.  And now, he just happily lies in his bed until we come to get him up.  Before he even points to his clock and says "green" (even at nap time when the clock does not turn green), he grabs his soft blue blanket made by SuSu and pulls it over his head.  He think it's so funny.  He cracks himself up and that's what makes it so funny.  I'm somewhat convinced that he plays peek-a-boo even before we enter his room!  He's in no hurry to get out of his crib.  In fact, he just enjoys having an audience for his show.  It's cute!

Where's Samuel?

Peek-A-Boo!

Life is good!  The days may not be perfect, but sweet blessings abound just the same!

The Lord has done great things for us,

    and we are filled with joy.

Psalm 126:3

The Happenings at our Home

Four months since Samuel joined the family and we've been quite busy lately with sports, fun, learning, and life.

SOCCER STAR
Joey finished up his first ever organized soccer season.  The joys of soccer included picking flowers, kicking up dirt, and climbing trees (yes, while on the side lines during the game).  A lot of credit goes to his coaches who were all amazing, patient, and extremely encouraging of all the players.  We enjoyed watching him learn more about teamwork, soccer skills, and having fun with new friends.  His compassionate side showed up when his teammates were injured or upset.  And the dedication to his team was evident in his interest to defend the goal and run all over the field to help out his team.  Joey was slow to get in the middle of the crowd vying for the ball, but he seemed confident to take charge when it was coming straight for him.  He never hesitated to take a moment from his game focus to wave at Samuel from the field.  And he was consistent with staying on "his spot" when he was a "defender" near the goal.  It was great just watching him be part of a team!  Joey was a little sad to see the season end, so I suspect another season will be here soon.

The Defender

"Resting" on the sidelines

Celebrating a great first soccer season

CREATIVITY AT ITS FINEST
Face painting has taken over around here.  It's been quite entertaining, especially for those of us just watching and not wearing.  Joey has found a sidekick who is more than wiling to just sit and be transformed into many creations.  The torturing comes only when Joey scrubs Samuel's face with a dry paper towel in hopes of removing any and all paint.  Ouch!  We've worked on changing our methods and supplies.  Ha!  As for the art itself, Joey has mastered an "American nose", Tiger, Ghost, and making Samuel appear as though the's been beaten up.  If he asks you what you'd like to be, just say the "American nose".  Just do it.  Trust me!

Look at that concentration

Roar!

The "American Nose" combined with the beaten up look

Intriguing?

Ta-Da!

SAMUEL 
As for Samuel, I must admit that his sleep pattern (or lack of sleep pattern) was a frustration for me.  I love my sleep.  That was my biggest hurdle as a new mommy 5 years ago.  I require 12+ hours of sleep a day.  That may or may not be an exaggeration.  I've been spoiled with Joey's consistent sleep habits since he was an infant.  Plus, Samuel had been waking up crying and at times seemingly still tired.  Figuring out Samuel's need for rest was a challenge, while reminding myself that he previously slept in a room with 12+ other children.  I was skeptical whether we could "sleep train" or make any adjustments.  I think Russ may have questioned it more than he let on.  The Cry It Out method is discouraged in situations such as Samuel's when attachment is forming and the fear of abandonment is real.  We spent a lot of time "shooshing" and repeating the phrase "Lay down; It's still night-night."  A lot of time.  I realize Samuel's private bedroom and continued adjustment to his new life were obstacles as well.  After fighting him to sleep on multiple occasion and continuing to hear a thud as he climbed out of his crib in anger or fear, I was determined to make some improvements.  I was amazed that several hard falls from his crib did not deter him.  He's persistent.  He's hard-headed.  I am too.  So, I moved him to a pack-n-play.  My reasons: 1) to add a couple more inches for him to overcome should he continue to climb out and 2) to shave a few inches off his fall should he manage to get over the pack-n-play.  I'm happy to report that we've found success!   Not only is he staying in his pack-n-play, but he's pretty consistently sleeping all night and at nap times.  If he wakes, we often will hear a couple whimpers and then he's back to sleep.  AND he's beginning to recognize his clock's signal to wake-up.  For anyone who has not yet had the privilege of owning the Teach Me Time clock, it is wonderful.  You can set it to turn green at the time you've designated as wake-up time.  It's 7am at our house.  For the first time, Samuel told me this week "green" and pointed to his clock as I lifted him out of bed.  So, we're all sleeping better.  And that means there's a lot more peace and patience in the home.  Win-Win!  As a great friend reminded me, God is going to use that strong determination for something good for His glory.  And there's plenty of that determination to do lots of things!

Along with the improved sleep has come improved waking.  I've reminded him almost daily for the past 3 months "No crying; just say Mama".  Thankfully he's learning that there's no need to cry and get upset.  Someone will come to help him out of bed.  Samuel is now waking up happier and calmer, more rested and less frustrated.  Whew...it makes for a happier home all the way around!

A Man of Few Words...A Few More Words
Samuel is becoming more comfortable and confident to repeat words and talk a lot more.  Of course, there's a little friendly competition between the boys.  It consist of loud talking overshadowed by louder talking and still louder talking.  Car conversations could easily be overheard by those driving in the lane next to us!  

Monkey
Truck
Paw Paw
Shoes
Napkin
Airplane

He. Likes. To. Read. A LOT.
This kid could read all day.  It seems like the biggest attraction to reading is sitting in someone's lap.  He likes to be close at all times and this is one way to ensure that.  Samuel also repeats the words being read.  We've been reading number and color books quite a bit lately.  And you know how kids typically like to read the same books over and over?  Yep, he's no different.  Samuel knows where we keep the books in his room and he's quick to pull one off the shelf at bedtime.  The bedtime routine isn't the same without a book or 2 or 3 or 4...

Outside
Samuel just likes being outside.  No matter the weather or entertainment available.  If there's a rain puddle in the area, he will find it!  He will stomp!  He will giggle!  Chalk and bubbles are a favorite still.  He also loves the swing.  As we've "invented" some strange sign language of our own in the past, it has happened again.  Samuel was adamantly pointing to something on the counter while putting his hand over his eyes.  Sunglasses?  Salute?  What?  
Let's play Charades...

I cover his eyes when I spray the sunscreen.  And we put sunscreen on often when playing outside.  So, if you guessed sunscreen or "go outside", you are correct!  

Water
Of course, he loves the water table too and the pool out back.  Joey introduced the kiddie pool last week.  Our big dog, Gracie, was also intrigued with the pool.  We might have to buy a bigger one to accommodate the boys and the 80 lb. dog!  We took the boys to the local splash pad recently while our friends were in town.  We can tell that Samuel is extremely comfortable with water.  We've known this in part because he LOVES baths and getting his face wet.  Not only does he love to splash in the backyard, he is very interested in Big Joe and Su Su's (in ground) pool...a little too interested.  The gray hairs grew at lightening speed as I watched him confidently stand on the edge of the pool and lean over to wet his fingers.  Ahhhh, he might be permanently incased in a life jacket within a 10 mile radius of water!  No fear.  We'll gladly welcome that confidence and channel it towards learning to swim.  

Splish Splash!

The Rangers
We took Samuel to his first Rangers' game.  Between the dancing, music, food, food, and food, both boys thought it was pretty great!  Samuel never wants to miss a photo op, which I take full advantage of.  Samuel enjoyed meeting some new friends and soaking up the uninterrupted attention.  He can also go for extra attention!  And now that we know both boys can stay awake until almost 11pm with lights and loud sounds, we just might have a couple of party animals on our hands!

These boys have our hearts!

Mother's Day with 2 Kiddos

My handsome little guys and furry "dog-ters"

It was a special day to be reminded of the Lord's faithfulness and His great plans for our family.  We are grateful for both of our boys!  I count it a blessing to be able to hold and hug them each and every day!  

* Celebrating the special lady on the other side of the world who has our hearts too.   No doubt the magnitude of her unselfish decisions have made a priceless impact on our forever family.  Samuel's first mommy will always be remembered, always celebrated!  

The Traveling Circus and Easter

Kindergarten Registration

This little guy is now registered for kindergarten.  Inserts a mommy's voice wailing "my baby, my baby, my baby".  I was told there is a Boo Hoo room upstairs.  You think I could just camp out there?  After hearing the excited gasp from Joey when we walked into the front office to register, I'm guessing this guy will run into his class and never look back.  He's going to love it!

Traveling Circus

A traveling Circus?  Maybe a can of sardines?  That's how I felt as we backed out of the driveway last week.  It was a first trip to Arkansas for both Samuel and Gracie (the large dog peaking through the seats) and our car was F-U-L-L.  Not sure who I was most worried about.  Until this trip, Samuel had not been in his carseat for more than an hour.  Ever.  In his whole life.  The dog...well, I wondered if Gracie would get car sick.  Both did great!  In fact, we all did great!  And we lived to tell about it. I'd say the trip to Arkansas and the visit were a success!

Um, are you sure it's going to take 6 hours?

Celebrating Easter

Our first Easter as a family of 4

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his 

great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope 

through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead..."

1 Peter 1:3

Some Extras

4 Generations

Just a funny shot of this guy's many expressions

Ready for baseball?

Both kiddos are little hams!  Is it really a choice?  While Joey wants to make silly faces in most every picture, Samuel wants to steal the spot light with his beckoning "Mama, cheese!" Our boys are entertainers!  I have a feeling this family will go through many, many, many cameras.

Three Months Down, A Lifetime to Go

Happy 3 Months to our Family of 4!

A stranger looking in on our lives might assume that Samuel was born into our family.  Not because his olive skin favors his mommy's.  Not even because he runs with such ease into his daddy's arms at the end of the day.  This guy acts like he's always been with us.  He is one of us.  I'm baffled and completely amazed!

In evaluating Samuel's comfort and attachment to us, there are a few ways we can tell a difference since we first met on January 13...

Brothers will be brothers.  There are many kisses these days.  The giggles and tickles far out number the tears.  Pestering is becoming more common though.  No doubt, Super Brother is no longer thought of as a guest, but part of the family.  Not that there's more irritation between the boys; there seems to be a greater level of comfort.  Great comfort!  Samuel has learned to let his guard down and just be a little brother.  He's a natural.  Don't let Samuel's size fool you though!  Initially, Samuel wasn't possessive.  Really, he still isn't much.  Sure, he tends to be drawn to the very toy Joey possesses.  He's 2.  In the beginning, he never had a problem handing a car to his brother when requested.  But now...oh, things are different.  Samuel is not shy to fight back.  He does not usually initiate sharing.  He doesn't seem to instigate quarrels either.  But, Samuel is confident to stand his ground.  He's not afraid to protect his Lego tower.  And he's not afraid to hold tight to a valued Star Wars figure.  He's also quick to tell on Joey, which is pretty hilarious.  And even on those days filled with "heated discussions" between the boys, I can still peak around a corner to find them reading a book together or building the train tracks.  I quietly spy a moment when Joey offers his brother a snack from his bowl.  

Brothers reading a book together

A fun day at the zoo

Samuel became comfortable with affection early on.  I remember that during our time in China, I was shocked at Samuel's willingness to give a kiss here or there.  He was selective at that time and still is.  It's funny that within the past 2-3 weeks, Samuel will now firmly grab my cheeks and give me a big smooch.  Sometimes the hands are sticky.  Sometimes the face is covered with chocolate (yep, he is his mother's boy).  He has pretty much perfected the bear hug too - that tight squeeze that says "you're mine".  He's sincere and sweet.  We all gladly welcome the love.

 

Who wouldn't want a big hug from this cutie?

You know, we read articles and watched webinars on attachment and bonding.  It was required for the adoption.  And for that we are thankful.  It forced upon us an insight into the importance and challenges of a strong bond.  The possible scenarios and outcomes were overwhelming.  I'll admit, the worst case scenarios are the ones that burrowed into my mind.  We've tried our best to follow the professional's recommendations to ensure the best connection with our little one.  We stuck by Samuel's side almost constantly for the first 4-6 weeks after we met.  I've carried him in the carrier countless hours (and still do sometimes).  We gradually exposed him to friends in calm situations and looked at pictures together of family members.  We've talked about grandparents and talked to grandparents on the phone/computer.  SuSu and Big Joe visited us at home the weekend we returned to Texas.  Samuel was interested and interactive with them, but still somewhat guarded.  Of course, he saw my mom with us in China, although her physical interaction was still limited at that time to allow the 4 of us to bond.  And he had not yet met my dad, Paw Paw.  Big Joe and SuSu made a trip to visit last weekend.   Samuel had been with us for 11 weeks at that point.  Being that it was only his second exposure to them in person, I was pleasantly surprised that Samuel was willing to stay with them (and Joey) with parents nowhere in sight.  And with my parents in town for Paw Paw to meet Samuel for the first time (apart from their babbling phone "conversations"), I was unsure what to expect.  And why would I expect anything different?  Our little guy took it all in stride.  It's like he has known his grandparents his entire 2 years of life.  He didn't hesitate to take Paw Paw's hand in the grocery store and confidently walk around to look at the live fish.  We were at the Asian Market...not PetSmart.  We are thrilled to see the ease he feels with his family.  Still, comfort with friends is coming around slowly and we're ok with that.  They're nice folks!  It's ok for him to question who he should trust.  It's a good sign to know that he's cautious and selective.  He's gradually learning to trust our family and recognize our own level of comfort and trust with friends.

Joey continues to grasp and appreciate his role as Big Brother.  This guy is serious about his new responsibility.  He still refuses to take on the task of changing a diaper though.  At least he has his priorities!  As with many older siblings, Joey is quick to reprimand Samuel while explaining to me that he's just helping Samuel learn (yeah, yeah).  Joey is very concerned with safety.  For that, I am thankful!  He will quickly (probably moving quicker than I can) stop Samuel from running towards the street.  He makes sure that Samuel is with us when walking in a crowd.  When out in public, the death grip he has on his brother's hand/arm tells others that he is protecting and guiding his little brother.  It's not a tight grip that Samuel refuses, but a respected hold that he (usually) recognizes will keep him safe.  It helps this momma breathe a little easier too!  Joey is quick to irritate by spraying Samuel in the face with water...there's obviously still that level of "brotherly love"!  Gotta keep the game going!

This guy is proud to be a big brother.

Talk about an awesome God!  Only He could bond a family in this way!  Only He could give this little boy the peace and comfort in redemption.  Both Joey and Samuel's have amazing stories of how God brought them into our family.  And we are blessed to witness His great work in their lives.

The screaming and tears of Gotcha Day

1 Month a Webb

2 Months a Webb

3 Months a Webb

Samuel continues to be a lively, giggly, determined little boy.  He brings such joy and laughter!  Would his birth parents find a peace to know that he's happy and fully engaged in his forever family?  I wish we could somehow give their hearts the peace of knowing that he's not only loved and happy, but thriving.  Praying that maybe one day...