Welcome 2019: Who are the people in your neighborhood?

Who Are the People In Your Neighborhood?
Sometimes I lose focus as to who I'm supposed to be encouraging and helping.  A very wise "Shrenda" once told me to focus on my little family and set boundaries for who I help.  Not that helping others is bad, but she knows I am easily distracted and need to be reminded.  She has reminded me of this for YEARS!  

For the first time in our family, we've set Family Goals.  I won't share them all, but I can say that we plan to be intentional with our marriage and our kids.  We plan to have budget meetings (which will include a spreadsheet overview, per my Accountant).  Rest assured, I'll take pictures all along the way.  Um, not of the budget meetings though, because those are confidential and will require a password to attend!

The social media version of our family

Our friends know the real version!!  

My mom and my childhood friend, Julie, were visiting on 

the day our amazing photographer captured these.  

We got started in December with Acts of Kindness.  Thankfully they are posted on FB so I won't lose them.  Also, they're not specific to December, so anyone can use them any time. All 5 of us survived those Acts of Kindness, so I'd say they are doable.  Maybe doing them every single day was a bit much for us, but it was a great way to refocus on others.  They helped the kids get creative in ways they give "gifts" to others.  Mostly importantly, it helped them think of others!  The acts related a Bible verse, so the kids can understand why we do what we do in our family.  My sweet husband lead them each morning at breakfast like it was second nature to him.  And writing them helped me see things from a new perspective and God let me use my creativity too!! 

Here's a blank version for anyone who might be able to use them!

One day, when life slows down I want to look back at 2018 and share what I learned from the process of moving my parents to Texas.  There is so much more to that story than I can fathom.  I'm still processing the events and the miracles.  Our family is still sifting through the pains and challenges too.  Our 2018 has definitely been one of growth.  All in all, it was a great year.  Seems funny to even say that given the challenges.  Even our new bank friend shakes his head at all we've accomplished and faced head on.  He doesn't even know the half of it!  

Our 2018 has been filled with challenges within our own family as well as challenges for some of our dearest friends.   My husband can tell you that I almost burned up my phone with texts over the summer!  Between my own neediness and the needs of my hurting friends, my texting thumb is ready to go on vacation.  HA!  Encouraging words and reminders of Truth pretty much ruled my phone for months.  The texts went both ways though.  Friends stood in the gap for me when I was taking my parents to court and traveling to Arkansas.  They also brought meals to my family so that Russ didn't have to do "both jobs" (as Samuel so lovingly puts it) while I was away.  Our house suffered while I was in survival mode.  Thankfully there's grace and a helping hand!  It opened my eyes to the need for more help around the house, which the kids and hubby are stepping up to tackle!  

We've had friends battling cancer and friends with big marital challenges.  These are all friends we've known for years, which made it comfortable.  Is that even a thing?  A comfortable time of challenges?  It's seems to be easier to walk these hard roads with people we've known for years.  It's easier to open up to them when you've seen the challenges they've faced too.  Some friends I've blogged about recently and some I haven't...yet!  I cannot change the name of everyone I include in blogs because I simply can't keep all the fake names straight in my head.  In fact, my phone now autocorrects "Drenda" to "Shrenda".  It also autocorrects "placemats" to body part names, so clearly it's unreliable and uneducated anyway!  I will say that having a group of friends who now randomly gift each other keeps life interesting.  Sometimes we know the gift-giver and sometimes we don't.  That part is fun!  

      This was my first friend party since childhood!  It was just what I needed 
            this year!  Thanks to my spiritual momma for making this happen!

God has brought additional spiritual mommas in my path since the summer.  To my surprise, they all text like a bunch of teen girls!  They share verses and Truth.  They make me laugh and check in on me.  One super quiet pastor's wife even listens to TMac, so she went up a point on my "She's All That" scale!!  Maybe one day I'll blog about these ladies too!  In my free time...

Some HUGE highlights of December 2018:
1) Joey got baptized on Dec. 16!  This special day made my eyes "sweat" a tiny bit.  My mom was able to go to church with us this morning.  We had our church family crowded in the back. And my amazing in-laws SURPRISED us by just showing up...as if they just happened to be in the neighborhood SIX HOURS AWAY FROM HOME!  It was definitely a day to remember  You can watch his baptism at the link below.
http://www.firstcolleyville.com/baptisms#!/swx/pp/media_archives/297342/episode/76673

2) Russ and I celebrated 14 years of marriage on Dec. 18!  Our school and lock Karate business offered a date night where we could drop the kids off to learn self-defense, eat dinner, and watch a movie.  Then, my hubby took me out to a favorite Italian restaurant that we haven't had a chance to visit in months!  Such a sweet treat...and yes, I shared my dessert!

Ok, I'm chasing squirrels like my spiritual momma "Shrenda", so stay tuned for more adventures of our family in 2019.  I'd like to say I'll do better about blogging, but I'm not sure that's a reliable statement.  After all, I'm "yearbook staff" for my kids' school.  I love love love that opportunity.  I use it be funny and gift others, so it's fun to me.  Oh, and I love pictures!!  Things are better at home with the kids since the summer.  I've been seeing a counselor to help me sift through the things of my childhood - both good and bad - that have made me who I am today.  The communication is improving in our marriage and we're actively working together to make life better! 

"The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy."

Psalm 126:3

Are Those Eggs on the Street?

As we've been teaching our kids this months about acts of kindness, it hit me today.  We're 6 days in and it's becoming more clear how these little acts are changing our family.  I'm a little slow to see it sometimes!  So, my question is...what am I teaching my kids?  We're working through acts that don't cost money.  It's things we often overlook (me included).  So, I've been trying to do these acts right along side them.  Some days are harder than others.  And sometimes it's just a matter of perspective to see that it's not as difficult as I initially envisioned.  

My friend, Tera, is facing a very serious diagnosis...for the second time in her young life.  She was a teacher before the C word hit.  She was and still is a mother.  No illness can take that away!  I remember asking her in the past about different teaching techniques to use at home.  And I still pick her brain when it comes to parenting a certainly little girl in our home.  When she was diagnosed with cancer just over a year ago, Tera's world was rocked in a big way.  She faced an unusual cancer discovered in an unusual way.  Her sweet momma said this about her...

"Leave it to my Tera to be atypical - but then she always 

has been and she's always been a fighter and I praise God 

she's His before mine and that He holds her in His hands."

She was forced to give up teaching.  It's something she's gifted at doing.  She donated some of her supplies to another teacher and some she packed up to use at home. Did it hurt to leave her classroom for the last time as the teacher?  Oh, I bet it did, but she did it.  She left her classroom behind because it's what was best for her family and her health.  Did she give up teaching all together?  Nope!  God had already given her 2 little cuties to parent with her amazing husband.  And they have been teaching those 2 littles together for all of their young lives.  

The youngest cutie is quite the deep thinker.  In fact, Tera shared that he asked if someone threw eggs on the road.  If you look closely at the yellow reflectors in the street, they're adhered with white cement that spreads out around the reflector.  I see reflectors, but this little one sees eggs!  His mind...it's almost overwhelmingly creative.  Their oldest is a quiet little girl who throws her momma for a loop sometimes, but is so sweet and gentle too.  I joke with my friend that naps are for her sanity and their safety.  Maybe that part is truth disguised as a joke.  But my friend knows when to soak in the tender moments with her kids and be intentional.  One morning, Tera texted to say that she had been awake thinking about her future and her health.  And then a few texts later, she said her sweet girl had come in to cuddle and that's where she would be for awhile.  Also, Tera has been intentional with her husband too.  They make the most of every opportunity together even if it involves working on the farm and plowing fields, literally!

This is what I've learned from Tera since her initial diagnosis:
1)  Keep your circle small in the beginning.  Sometimes you have to do this to avoid rumors or confusion, but sometimes you have to do it to protect those closest to you.  If you have deep thinkers that see "eggs" on the road, you know you have to be careful about what information is shared and when.

2)  Be honest about your struggles, but still continue to check on those around you.  More than once, I'll get a text asking about my day or my marriage or my parents.  She's still checking in on me, which means she's likely checking in on others too.  

3)  Be intentional and make the most of every opportunity.  Don't give up teaching your kids.  You may not have a classroom at a school, but you do have an audience wherever you go.  Cuddles are even teaching moments too!  If your hubby is as awesome as Tera's, you'll go on a date day after doctors' appointments.  Remember?  Be intentional.  Just to brag on her husband, Lee has come out fighting when insurance coverage arose.  He's a farmer with boxing gloves on...except he would never hit anyone.  Ever. 

4)  Leave a legacy.  It may be in pictures or words or activities, but find out what works for your family.  Tera hasn't let this disease steal her sense of adventure and wonder.  Her kids are little.  She knows that Christmas lights and music speak to them.  She knows her audience well.  And I've learned from Tera too that it's not about making scrapbooks with the pictures.  The memories are implanted in the mind and the pictures can remind. Someone else can plug pictures into a scrapbook later while Tera's out chasing her kids on their next adventure!  I do remind her to take pictures though!

5)  Know the Truth, but also never give up.  Tera knows the medical side of her diagnosis.  She probably knows just enough to scare herself.  But she also knows the Truth that God will heal her one way or another.  And she's not giving up. She's just honest some days that it's overwhelming and scary.  That doesn't mean she'll cancel her child's birthday party for fear of germs.  It just means she's keep a bubble around herself to limit germs.  She also knows the One who made her and hears her prayers and will eventually heal.  I'm praying and believing for more years here on earth!

6) Also, laugh.  If you can't laugh, find someone who can make you laugh.  Tera let's me be that person for her sometimes.  I can turn pretty much anything in to a sarcastic joke.  I have to reign it in some days, but for the most part, I think she laughs at my jokes.  For example, when one of our friends said her labs (blood work) were good, I replied with a picture of my lab (dog)!  Tera can dish it out too.  She sent me this. She told me which one made her think of me.

Tera's illness has not be wasted on me.  It's actually grown my prayer life.  And if begging the Lord for a friend's life out loud is "acceptable", then I've been "acceptable" quite a bit lately.  She has touched way more lives than mine and I doubt she even knows that at times.  Much like my spiritual parents, I'm watching and learning from her.  Tera's barely younger than me, but definitely taller.  So, I can call her my sister...not big sister, but maybe wise, taller sister!  I still have so much more to learn from her.

"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he 

will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid; 

do not be discouraged."

Deut. 31:8

Shrenda, Come Back! Don't chase that Squirrel!

Trust and Squirrels

One of the most important things I've learned from Shrenda over the years is trust.  Because I know I can trust her, I also know I can trust what she says.  Shrenda has told me most recently:

1.  Set boundaries.
2.  Keep unity in your marriage.
3.  Take care of your kids before taking care of others

The list could go on and on, but we'll start with those.  You know how Shrenda knows so much?  Because she knows the one who is Truth...the Lord!  She is quick to point me back to Him in any situation.  

1.  Setting boundaries is healthy.  If you run yourself down, you're no good to anyone.  If you try to help every single person that has needs, you'll never be able to care for them fully because you'll spread yourself thin.  Also, you may end up taking on the role that someone else was purposed for.

2.  Once you're married, you are one.  It's about working together.  We tell our kids often "we're a team", which drives them nuts sometimes.  We may not always sleep under the same roof or go to bed at the same time, but we can strive for unity in many others ways.  Good communication can even lead to unity, which is good for me because I love words and my hubby hears words well!

3.  Taking care of your little family is important.  I get side tracked sometimes and I try to help people in foreign lands and forget my own little three.  I prayed to have lots of children  but sometimes I forget to focus on my 3 answers to prayer.  That may be putting a note in their lunch or looking them in the eye for a 5 minute conversation on pirates, video games, and making jewelry (all things I know absolutely nothing about).  It's the little things in life...for real!

Squirrels
As for squirrels, that's more of an inside joke.  Slim Billion has known Shrenda since he saw her beautiful golden locks at the bus stop.  I think that was back in the 80's, but I'm not certain!  Anyway, Shrenda gets caught up in a bunch of things and her mind gets distracted easily.  Sound like anyone you know?  

One thing I can say about Shrenda and chasing multiple ideas at the same time, is that she still points things back to the Lord.  It may a cookie party or home decor.  It may be an illness or swimming.  She has a way of knowing how those things fit in the details of life.  And she knows the Giver of life, so she can point anyone back to Him.  Even in her illness, she points people to the Lord.  Does she do it with tears?  Sometimes.  Does she do it with laughter?  Yep.  Does Shrenda do it with gifts? You bet.  That's the thing about truth...it doesn't change!  So, no matter situations we're facing, there's Truth to be found.  Sometimes it takes longer to see it.  Sometimes it's painful to get there.  And sometimes we may laugh so hard we can't catch our breath.  

Birthday Party
My sweet Shrenda hosted a birthday party for me this year on the day SHE HAD A MEDICAL PROCEDURE!  This lady.  Again, she trusted that it would happen, even if Slim had to cook dinner.  And we all know Slim would've rather been learning Hebrew than cooking dinner for a bunch of girls that want to talk about potty training, gift ideas, and swings.  Shrenda knew that my momma was unable to host a party and that my own little family was struggling with the added stress of caring for my parents.  Also, the last friend party I remember was at McDonald's.  

Sorry!  I didn't have time to conceal identities.  Still no one knows which 

girl is Shrenda!  For fun, there's a teacher, a creative mind, a therapist, 

a nurse, a preschool teacher, a momma, and a sarcastic funny girl.  Just realized 

there's a shirt maker missing from the picture! See if you can figure it out!

Funny thing is that this party was far from what anyone expected.  Some fiends were afraid to come because their lives had changed so drastically.  But one friend even drove an hour to see us!  And you know what?  The party was AMAZING!!  In typical Shrenda fashion, she coined this group of ladies a funny name because of life's challenges.  Thankfully laughter was a big part of the evening.  So, thanks to squirrels and Shrenda, I had an amazing evening!  Also, my sweet husband cared for our kiddos so I could enjoy the evening!  There's that unity and caring for the kids Shrenda talked about!!  I could go on for days...

If anyone sees Shrenda, please don't tell her that I think I'm so much like her.  And if you know Slim, pray for him!  He loves his wife so big, but mostly he's gonna need some running to shoes to keep up with Shrenda.  She's going places in life!  I can see Slim chasing her while yelling "what else?"  

"For the word of the Lord is right and true; he is faithful in all he does." 

Psalm 33:4

To Quote "Slim Billion"...

To Quote Slim Billion: What else?

We know a world famous teacher who likes to ask “what else".  Whether it's at home, at the grocery store, in a Sunday school room, or anywhere else...it's a valid question. It gets us thinking, especially when hearing and seeing what God is doing. He sometimes gives direct commandments, such as “do not steal” and “do not commit adultery”, but other times He's more subtle.  That's where Slim comes in with his reminder question.  You see, he tries to disguise it as a simple question, but he knows the Lord will use it to get us thinking.  Sadly, it takes some people (finger pointing at myself) to really understand the question.  Then, I zacar Slim's teachings and it all makes more sense.

Let me introduce you to Slim and his wife Shrenda.  This is an older picture and their identities have been concealed to protect the innocent (Shrenda in this case).

Then, there’s the instructions to go tell others about Him and go care for widows and orphans. That's where my November posts were headed and God totally derailed that!  It was never about the children we adopted.  It was a heart change so much deeper.  Again, I was slow to get that.  Um...at least 3 years slow!  Honestly, I still don't get all that the Lord has instructed in those verses.  Maybe Slim and Shrenda will be able to help that.  In fact sometimes Shrenda does call me out or remind me and then she asks...

"Oh no!  Was I too harsh?  Are we still friends?  Did I hurt your feelings?"  

Back to Slim...I'm sure Slim has talked about (in his own little way) how you wouldn’t lead some to a foreign land and then just leave them there without a map.  You wouldn't give someone a dream without some way or interpreting it.  And hopefully you wouldn't give someone a smart mind to think and no wise counsel to understand it.  

It’s the same for adoption, family challenges, or illness.  It's the same for the good stuff too, like blessings of money, unexpected new friends, and getting a new puppy.  Slim's question is still applicable...

"What else?"

Slim and Shrenda are facing a pretty serious health situation, but they are believing the Truth they've always known.  They've even been obedient to change church homes, which makes absolutely no sense to the average person.
That means their meeting all new friends in the midst of the this new health challenge.  You know what?  Slim has been asking if he can teach a class at this new church.  If life truly is the church with no walls (reportedly said by famous Pastor John Meador), then we should all be watching and learning from Slim.  I am, but not in a creepy way.   By the way, Pastor John is amazing too!  We've known John and Kim for a few years now.  I thought about changing their names too, but I'm starting to get these imaginary names mixed up in my sleepy head!

There's so much more to learn from them both.  Shrenda is super smart too, but she chases squirrels and asks if she's hurting my feelings too often.  I'll tell more about her later.  Maybe tomorrow 'cause she's my spiritual momma and I'm making something special for her tonight!  

Momma, if you're reading this...do you prefer chocolate or pumpkin?  Wait...I already know the answer to that!!!  Can I just combine the 2?  

Kim, I know you'll read this soon enough.  You've become a faithful friend.  So, where is your favorite verse again?  Psalm 3 or Proverbs 3?  Hee Hee!

"Sovereign LORD, you are God! Your covenant is trustworthy, and you have promised these good things to your servant."

Joshua 1:9